


Life Makes Love Look Hard

by RobinsonsWereHere



Category: Psych
Genre: (technically) - Freeform, 1950s opinions, Alternate Universe - 1950s, F/M, Like, Period-Typical Sexism, Slow Burn, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, biweekly update schedule, jules is 19 but still, married madry, scottish!jules, shawn has a little sister, some exaggeration of characters, this was completely inspired by call the midwife, ww2 vet!Henry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-12-28 09:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21134372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: Impoverished coastal California, 1958.Juliet O'Hara is the oldest daughter and fourth oldest child of Scottish immigrants Frank and Maryanne O'Hara. A family of eleven, soon to be twelve, they're often struggling to get by.Shawn Spencer is the son of a World War II vet and a midwife. His family lives comfortably, but they haven't always, so when they can, they try to help those who need it.When Juliet falls pregnant, her mother kicks her out and her boyfriend refuses to help. She's almost lost hope when Shawn stops her on the street, introduces himself, and offers her a place to stay, for a while. At first, she only agrees because she's desperate. But as she soon finds out, there's just something about Shawn that makes him... different.





	1. Too Late to Go Back

Juliet O’Hara wakes up feeling decidedly ill, as she has for a full week. Clutching her stomach, she steps over piles of sleeping siblings- the twins hugging each other, little Hugh and Michael using each other as pillows- and stumbles into the narrow hall. She nearly knocks over Christopher in his stroller, but does make it to the small bathroom in time to vomit into the toilet. Which, by the way, is dirty and disgusting, and spurs another round of vomiting.

When she enters the kitchen in the hopes of washing her hands, a few of her brothers are already awake, and pestering Maryanne for breakfast. Juliet’s mother shoos them off, her intense Scottish accent not obscuring her point.

“Aye, if ya want any o’ this at all, ya’ll back off! I’ll give all o’ ya a slap on the ear!”

“Beat feet, boys,” Juliet adds, not in the least intimidated by the fact that they tower over her. “Let me at the sink.”

Maryanne regards her daughter with a penetrative eye. “Still not feeling well, aye, Juliet?”

“I’m fine, Mum,” Juliet mumbles. She knows exactly why she’s sick all the time. It’s not something she’s prepared to share.

“You don’t look it, dear. You’ve been sick as a dog all this week and half of the last. Why, the only time I’ve seen anyone close to that bad was when I was pregnant with ya’nd your siblings!”

Juliet eyes her mother’s growing belly. “So, quite often, then.”

“Don’t talk cheek to me, lass.”

“She’ll end up like you soon enough, Mum, carrying on with that rich boy like she does,” Ewan grumbles, tilting his rickety chair back until he’s resting on the wall.

Juliet roughly tips him back upwards. “Quit nosing into my business, Ewan! It’s not like that.”

(It is very much like that.)

“I don’t like the look of the greaser, Julie! He’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you!”

Maryanne ends the dispute with a dish towel snapped against Ewan’s arm. “What boy is he talking about, Juliet?”

“Nobody, Mum,” Juliet lies. “Just a nice boy from up the street. He buys me sandwiches sometimes, that’s _all.”_ The lie tastes sour, making her want to puke again.

“Best be careful with those boys, darling,” Maryanne mutters, stirring the pot of oatmeal. “Men like that buy you a meal, they’re too bleeding likely to want something in return.”

“Yes, Mum.” Juliet slides a few pieces of bread into the oven. “I’ll wake the ankle-biters. Perhaps they’ll be close to clean by the time breakfast is ready.”

\---

As the day goes by, the lies weigh heavier and heavier on Juliet. By the time she’s helping Maryanne with dinner, she’s not sure if it’s the lying or the pregnancy making her sick.

_How bad could it really be, to tell her? She’ll have to find out, eventually… and she can’t be all mad, not when I **know** Declan will help us out… maybe there’s not really anything to be afraid of…_

“Mum?” Juliet asks quietly, worry stealing her normally confident voice.

“What’s the matter, lass?” Maryanne doesn’t look up from her onions.

“Um, do you remember this morning, when Ewan was teasing me about Declan?”

“Oh, he has a name now, does he?”

“Uh-huh.” Juliet looks around, but her brothers are playing outside and Grace is washing up before helping. “Um, well. I may have lied, a wee bit.” Her own accent has been tempered by growing up in California, but it thickens when she’s nervous, angry, or tired. “I am sort of going out with Declan.”

Maryanne turns to look at her, squinting. “What do ya mean, ‘sort of’?”

“Well, I- he’s very nice, and he- he takes me places, just-just around, to spend time away from our one little street…” Juliet twists a dirty dish towel in her hands. “He’s a gentleman, mum, and he’s good to me. I told him no at first, but he kept suggesting it and- and I just wanted to make him happy…”

Maryanne shakes her head, disbelief in her gaze. “Juliet, a gentleman stops asking when a lady says no! And a _lady_ don’t do things that should be saved for the wedding night with a boy she’s just met!”

“Mum, I didn’t just meet him! I love him!”

“So ya really did it, then? Ya let a random boy have what should only o’ been had by your husband?”

Juliet swallows hot shame, and can only nod.

“Bloody ‘ell, Juliet, you’re lucky ya ain’t pregnant!”

She stays silent. Maryanne watches her, slowly turning away from the onions. “No. No, don’t tell me…”

Juliet only nods, wiping at the tears that are beginning to flow. “I’m sorry, Mum…”

“Sorry ain’t gonna feed thirteen, ya filthy girl!”

“Mum, please, I need your help-”

“Ya should’a thought o’ that before ya went and spread ya legs for Mr. Rich Boy, now, shouldn’t ya?”

Juliet is openly crying now, tears streaming down her face. “He’ll help us, Mum, I know he will…”

“Ya’d better hope he helps ya, ‘cause I sure ain’t!”

Even if she’d known her mom would be upset, Juliet hadn’t been expecting this. Shock abruptly halts her tears. “Wh- what?”

“Ya heard me! I raised ya as best I could, but if you’re going to be acting like this, ya ain’t worth the effort it takes to feed ya! Bloody hell, what will ya father say?”

The door opens, and despite Juliet’s fervent hope for it to be Ewan or Thomas or any one of her brothers, Frank steps through, already frowning. “What will I say about what?”

Maryanne gestures in Juliet’s direction, emphatically enough for her to flinch. “Ya daughter’s gone and got herself knocked up!”

Frank turns a harshly disappointed eye towards Juliet. “Julie. You’re smarter than that. It ain’t true.”

Juliet nods. “I- I’m sorry-”

He’s shaking his head before she finishes the sentence. “Will the father be any help?”

She seizes the chance. “Yes, absolutely, I know he will-”

“Then maybe ya’ll get lucky enough not to end up in a maternity home. Get out.”

Juliet stares fearfully at her parents, both of whom look angry enough to set the house alight. Neither one shows any signs of relenting.

“Please…”

Maryanne shakes her head. “Leave, Juliet, an’ don’t come back.”

Juliet nods, numb, and stumbles through the door. Nauseous, scared, and utterly alone, she paces slowly out into the street.


	2. Nowhere to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It never even occurred to Juliet that her parents would kick her out when they learned she was pregnant. Now, she's all alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, after today, this fic will have a **biweekly posting schedule** unless otherwise explained. next chapter will be up on November 12th!

Juliet keeps walking once she’s left her house, but she has no clue where she’s going. And with every step, it’s harder and harder to not turn back.

Gracie yells out the window for Juliet to help with the dishes before someone, probably Maryanne, pulls her back. Juliet stiffens, but doesn’t turn.

Near the mouth of the alley, her younger brothers are playing. Frankie comes running up to her, abandoning his roughed-up soccer ball.

“Julie, where are you going? Is it time for dinner yet?”

“Not yet, Frankie,” she manages, resisting the urge to hug him tightly. “I just have to go away for a while, Mum says.”

“No, don’t! I’ll miss you!”

Juliet shakes her head, moving through the gaggle of young boys. “It’s not up to me.”

Before she can make it out of the alley, Frankie and the others are tackling her in a group hug. She holds them close, crying even harder.

“Don’t go, Julie,” Sammy begs, his face pressed into her skirt. She ruffles his dark hair.

“I have to, Sam, I’m sorry,” she says, her voice breaking. “Be good for me, yeah? Set the table when Mum asks ya to, and keep your hands clean.”

“I promise,” he swears, blue eyes blinking up at her. “If I’m good, will you come back?”

“You’re always good,” she tells him, emotion choking her words. “All of ya. So even if I don’t come back, remember that you’re already so good, and I still love you.”

Eventually, the boys let her go, watching solemnly as she walks away. Not even bothering to dry her tears, Juliet turns left and heads for the prenatal clinic.

\---

Nurse Madeline Spencer is efficient and careful, kind and brisk. She seems almost contrary to herself, but her qualities that might be conflicting at some times aid her greatly in a midwifery career. For instance, five minutes ago she was assuaging the fears of an expectant mother who hadn’t felt her baby move in some time, but now, she’s got to chew out one of the younger nurses.

“Who’s filling out paperwork today? Karen?”

“Yeah?” The nurse in question, tall and lanky with quite an attitude, pokes her head out the kitchen door.

“You’re rushing, Karen. This says Ms. O’Hara, not Mrs., and it’s a new patient sheet-- Maryanne has been seeing us for decades.”

Karen folds her arms. “I know what I’m doing. It’s Juliet here, not Maryanne.”

Maddie recognizes the name- Maryanne’s oldest daughter is a cheery, sensible girl, who’s helped out with the delivery of quite a few of her siblings. She frowns.

“Juliet O’Hara, in for a prenatal check? She’s nineteen!”

Karen shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, everything on that sheet is what she gave me. Now, I’ve gotta check out Mrs. Randolph’s triplets, if you’ll excuse me.”

Pursing her lips, Maddie heads for the entry to the waiting room. It’s full of women at various stages of pregnancy, or holding young babies. Children who couldn’t be left at home run amok. Maddie clears her throat and calls out. “Ms. O’Hara?”

Sure enough, Juliet O’Hara stands, looking at once relieved to be out of the crowd and embarrassed at all of the eyes on her. She hurries to the doorway, and Maddie ushers her into a curtained-off exam area. “Hi, Juliet, it’s nice to see you again.”

She nods quickly. “You too, Nurse Spencer.”

“So you’re here because you think you’re pregnant?” No sense beating around the bush.

Juliet ducks her head, nodding again. “Ah, yes ma’am.”

“Well, we’ll start with some simple questions. When was your last cycle?”

“Uh… a while ago. Mid-September, maybe?”

Maddie raises an eyebrow. It’s early November now; if she really is pregnant, she’s caught on quickly. “And have you had intercourse since then?”

“Yes,” Juliet admits in a hoarse whisper. “Early… early October.”

“Hey.” Maddie lays a hand on the girl’s knee. “You don't have to be ashamed, Juliet. I’m here to help you, nothing else. I won’t judge.”

She nods.

“Can I continue, or do you need a minute?”

“Go on.”

“Alright. Any nausea, fatigue, or cramping recently?”

“I’ve been really sick. And I sort of feel crampy, too, but it’s mostly nausea.”

“Do you find yourself having to pee more often? Is your nausea intensified by strong smells?”

“Yes to both.”

“Well, Juliet,” Maddie sighs, “you probably are pregnant. May I do a physical exam?”

“Of course.”

Maddie has her ruck up her dress, and spreads a towel over her hips for modesty, though she’ll need to see between her legs later. For now, she gently palpates her abdomen, feeling for uterine shape, among other things. Satisfied that nothing feels abnormal- though she can’t feel any definite indicators of pregnancy, either- Maddie nods and heads for her equipment bag.

“It may be too early,” she tells Juliet, “but I’m going to listen for a fetal heartbeat. I’ll need you to be still and quiet for a few minutes, alright?”

Juliet nods, and Maddie presses the stethoscope to her stomach. Unfortunately, while Juliet is a model patient, outside noises still persist.

Maddie hears a crash, breaking glass, and nurses saying things that should not be said in mixed company. She glares and goes to stick her head out the curtain. “Ladies! Some quiet, if you don’t mind! I’m trying to find a heartbeat!”

Juliet is stifling giggles when she resumes her position, and Maddie decides that she doesn’t mind the interruption if it makes the girl laugh. Once more, she holds the stethoscope to Juliet’s skin, and puts her ear to the small end.

It takes a few tense minutes, and some maneuvering of the stethoscope, but Maddie does find a heartbeat, surprising even herself. She listens, and counts by her watch.

“Well, Ms. O’Hara,” she says, her smile bittersweet, “you’re definitely expecting. Baby’s heart rate is perfectly healthy; the fact that I could find it at all means it’s strong.”

Juliet nods, clearly trying not to cry. “Okay,” she whispers. “Okay. I’ll figure myself out.”

Maddie frowns. “I noticed that your mother wasn’t with you in the waiting room… is she just busy, or is there more to this?”

Juliet bites her lip.

Maddie folds her arm. “Juliet, I’ve known you since you were a baby. Don’t lie to me.”

“Well, um, me mum did kick me out,” she mutters, a scottish accent creeping into her voice with the nerves. “But I’ll be alright. The- the father is better off than we are… he’ll take care of me.”

There’s nothing Maddie can do unless her patient asks for help. With a sigh, she takes Juliet’s hand in her own. “Alright then, Juliet. If you’re sure. Try to stay healthy, and eat more, please. You’re dreadfully thin, and you only need more energy with a growing baby.”

“Yes, Nurse.” Juliet stands, putting her panties back on and smoothing her dress. “I’ll be back, I suppose.”

“I suppose you will. Take care, Juliet.” Maddie watches until the young girl has left her sight. “Take care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also: I'm doing NaNoWriMo, but I've written far enough ahead to keep updating this fic. Thanks, muse!


	3. She Runs (Into His Arms)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet goes to Declan for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love this fic sm you guys don't even know

Juliet walks calmly out of the prenatal clinic, but breaks into a run as soon as she turns onto the main street. Normally, she can run the length of her neighborhood without stopping, and she’s run to Declan’s fairly easily before. But today, she doesn’t even make it to his street before she’s gasping for breath. Holding her stomach, she leans against a wall and vomits into the gutter.

_I have to be more careful now,_ she thinks. _Like the nurse said. Take better care of myself._

Walking up the long street gives her plenty of time to think about her situation. She rubs a hand over her belly, which is almost concave, what with her being barely pregnant and not having eaten anything more than bread and jam for a good two week. But sooner or later, she’ll start to grow.

There’s a _child_ growing inside of her. She’s nineteen and all alone, except for this miraculous life which it’s up to her to protect. She’s going to have a baby, and at the moment, the only emotion that sparks is terror.

_How in the world am I going to do this?_

That thought carries her to the large, polished door of a large, polished house. She grabs the metal knocker and bangs it against the door, almost jumping at the largeness of the noise.

Declan answers, his eyes widening when he sees her. “Juliet! What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to use the front door!”

It hadn’t seemed important, in her rush. “Sorry, but I really need to talk to you,” she tells him.

“Alright, alright, come on.” He takes her by the arm, just past gently, and leads her quickly down the stairs. It’s not until they reach the sidewalk leading further into town that he calms and puts an arm around her. “Sorry about that, gorgeous. What’s the matter?”

“Declan…” Juliet looks up at him, happy for the arm over her shoulders. Not only does it warm her in the cool dusk, it makes her feel safe and protected. “Declan, I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

She shivers as he steps away from her, confusion written over his face.

“I’m pregnant,” she repeats. “Expecting. In the family way.”

Declan physically recoils. “Is it mine?”

Juliet gapes. “Of course! What sort of girl do you think I am?”

“Sorry, sorry. I just…” He takes a deep breath and reaches for her hand. That might reassure her, if his grip weren’t deathly tight. “Are you sure? You’re not just… coming down with something?”

Juliet nods. “I came straight here from the clinic. The nurse could hear the heartbeat.”

Declan frowns. “So I suppose it’s too late to do something about it, then.”

“Do something?” Juliet gasps as the implication hits her, stepping away and wrapping an arm over her stomach. “Declan, you can’t mean--”

“I have the money for it, we could find somewhere safe, somewhere respectable--”

“Declan, this is our child!” She stares at him, her eyes wide, her mouth open in shock.

“No! It can’t be!” He scowls darkly, agitated enough for Juliet to be worried. “Juliet, I’m in line to inherit everything my family has, but I have to be a respectable man… our entire reputation, our very name, would be ruined if people learned I’d fathered a bastard child with a whore.”

Juliet clenches her jaw and steps back. “Is that really what you think of me?”

“I-- I-- no, Juliet, it’s just an expression--”

“Cut the gas,” she snaps. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need your help.”

(She needs someone’s help, but he’s clearly no longer on the list.)

“Juliet, wait-”

He grabs her arm, and she moves on instincts honed by nineteen years of having brothers. Her open palm smacks across his face, and while he’s reeling and clutching his cheek, she runs.

She doesn’t know where to, and she won’t be able to keep up her speed for long, but for now, she runs.

\---

Shawn has just finished helping a roofing team who were a few men short patch up the leaking roof of an apartment building a few blocks from his house. It hadn’t been the most lucrative job of the day, but Shawn knows the area- there are at least four dozen kids in that building alone. It’s worth it.

He’s heading home at a faster pace now, because dusk is fading to night and his mother won’t be happy if he’s late enough to let dinner get cold. Turning up onto one of the many streets where the lights are flickering or not on at all, he sees something-- no, someone-- odd.

Across the street from him, walking considerably slower, is a girl, or a young woman-- he can’t tell, but she’s younger than him.

“Hey, are you alright?”

She jumps, notices him, then starts walking faster. “Yeah, fine, thanks.”

Shawn frowns. She’s not dressed for the weather, wearing a faded sleeveless dress despite the chill of the evening. The hemline is cut too short for the current style, but it hangs off her shoulders like it’s far too big. Not to mention that she’s barefoot.

“Are you sure? You look like you could use a hot meal…” he ventures. He doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries, but he is legitimately worried that she might be planning to spend the night out here. “You could come to my place,” he offers. “You’d have dinner and a bed to sleep in.”

She gives him a quick, sharp smile, her eyes flashing with something dangerous. “You ain’t the first man ta call me a whore today, but thanks for being subtle, I guess?”

_Okay. Boundary overstepped._ “Wait, wait, that’s not what I meant. Can you-- can you slow down a sec? I don’t want to chase you, because you clearly already don’t like me-- which is fair-- but at least give me a chance to not sound like a chop.”

She turns, folding her arms over her chest. He can see her shivering. “Whaddya want?”

“I’m Shawn Spencer.” He holds out a hand. “My family has more space then we need, and my mom is a nurse and my dad is a cop, so they find a lot of people who could use some help. If you want a few meals and a place to stay for a few days, our doors are open.”

She narrows her eyes. “Why should I believe you?”

Shawn shrugs. “I don’t blame you, if you don’t. But I have to get home for dinner, so…” he begins to walk away, then looks over his shoulder. She’s still scowling at him. “Come on,” he groans, “don’t make me try to out-stubborn you. I’m not gonna hurt you, word of the bird.”

She glares at him so intensely that he actually takes a step away. Then, she nods. “Fine. But I’m following behind you, way out of reach, and if you take one wrong step, I’m outta here.”

Shawn grins, relieved. “Deal.”

So he walks calmly, and she follows a few yards behind him. Though the atmosphere is tense, she doesn’t run, and soon, they’re standing at his doorstep.

\---

Juliet isn’t sure what to expect from the strange man who offers her a meal on a whim. But sure enough, he leads her to a house on a street she knows from the path to the grocer’s. The houses here are small, often with large families crammed into them, but they’re certainly a step above the the tenements Juliet is used to.

When Shawn opens the door, a soft glow spills onto the dark street. She can’t see much from where she’s standing, but he calls inside. “Mom, I’ve brought company for dinner, can we feed one more?” He waits, then turns back to her with a grin. “She says yes. You want me to send my little sister out, to convince you this isn’t a brothel?”

Juliet sighs and shakes her head. “You’ve convinced me.”

As she and Shawn step into the foyer, a younger girl, only a little older than Gracie, appears from a room Juliet thinks is the dining room. “What sort of company did you bring, Shawn? Is she your girlfriend?”

Juliet blushes, and so does Shawn, flicking the girl who must be his sister in the ear. “No, Caroline, she’s not my girlfriend. Introduce yourself.”

“I’m Caroline Spencer,” she says agreeably, holding a hand out to Juliet. “You’re pretty enough to be someone’s girlfriend.”

Again, Juliet blushes. Again, Shawn flicks Caroline, this time on the arm. “Alright, three strikes. Go set the table before you say something really embarrassing.”

“That was only two strikes!” she protests, but she does head back into the dining room.

Juliet tentatively makes to follow. “I can- I can help,” she starts, but freezes when she sees a familiar face. “Nurse Spencer.”

The friendly nurse’s eyes widen, but she smiles the same calm smile she’d worn in the prenatal clinic. “Juliet, nice to see you again.”

Shawn frowns. “You two already know each other?”

“Yeah.” Juliet tucks her hair behind her head, licks her lips, breaks eye contact-- all signs of discomfort, lying, or secret keeping. “Um--” she turns back to Shawn, just a little, but only meets his eyes for the barest of seconds. “I’m, ah, expecting.” she bites her lip. “I’m sorry, I should have mentioned it, but you caught me off guard… I’m sorry. I understand if you want me to leave…”

The room is silent for a tense minute. She can see Shawn literally gaping at her. Caroline is peeking around the doorframe, as if she’s used to eavesdropping on more adult conversations. Nurse Spencer still has a warm smile on her face, but a man who must be Mr. Spencer is raising an eyebrow at his wife.

“We’re not gonna make you leave,” Shawn says at last. The smile that appears on his face seems at once genuine and forced. “If anything, we’ll make sure you get extra to eat.”

Juliet can’t remember ever having extra _anything._ She looks to Mr. and Mrs. Spencer. “Are-- are you sure?”

“Perfectly certain, Juliet,” Maddie says, in her oddly calming voice. She sets a huge soup tureen on the table. “Now come on, have a seat. We’re all hungry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything's gonna be great from here on out, right? Right!?!?


	4. Extra (Food, Room, Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet has dinner with the Spencers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this fic so so so muchhhhhh

Maddie serves the soup before she starts any sort of conversation, quieting Shawn and Henry with a look. Caroline has a sort of sense that even her father doesn’t, and knows when silence is the best option. Maddie thinks it might be something she’d picked up from her-- after all, her daughter does want to be a midwife. At any rate, the table is calmly silent until they’ve all been served.

She gives Juliet a full, normal sized bowl of stew. The girl’s eyes go wide. “Oh, I don’t need this much, has everybody else gotten some?”

“Juliet, there’s plenty for everyone,” Maddie tells her. “In fact, you should probably have a second bowl when you finish that-- from what you told me, you could definitely use some extra nutrients.”

“Oh,” she says, her voice small. “Oh… thank you.”

They’re silent for a few minutes, but Maddie knows things will need to be said, especially if Juliet is staying with them. “So,” she starts, “your boyfriend wasn’t as helpful as you’d hoped?”

“No, he wasn’t,” Juliet answers, her mouth full of stew. “He, um… he cares too much about his inheritance, I guess. More than he does about me.”

“That’s horrible!” Caroline exclaims. She gets a look on her face that Maddie and Henry have coined ‘righteous indignation’. “Nobody should care more about money than about a person.”

“You’re absolutely right, dear,” Maddie says, laying a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. 

“So, Juliet,” Henry asks, “do I hear a bit of an accent? Where you from?”

“Well, I’ve been born and raised in California, but my parents came here from Scotland. My dad wanted to go to college, but then my oldest brother was born.”

Henry nods slowly. “That happens to a lot of people.”

Maddie thinks she knows where her husband is going with this. “Do you have any family in California besides your parents, Juliet?”

“No,” the young blonde murmurs. “Well, my older brother, Thomas, has a place near my parents, but he’s already married with two kids… I doubt he’d take me in.”

“You can stay here for a while,” Maddie assures her. “We’ll figure something out.”

\---

Henry lights a cigarette, taking a long drag as Maddie scrubs at the dinner dishes. “D’you think Shawn knew this girl before tonight?”

“No, why?”

“Just the way he acts… he’s being gentle, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he was thinking before he speaks. It takes quite a person to get Shawn to act like that.”

Maddie shakes her head. “No, I don’t think they’ve met. Remember when he dated Katie Long, for a few weeks? He wouldn’t shut up about her.”

“I didn’t think they were dating,” Henry corrects. “I was just wondering. So what’s up with this Juliet kid, anyway?”

“Do you know the O’Haras? Scottish, Frank works on the pier, Maryanne’s around my age, they have… eleven children, I think, though she’s expecting again.”

“Never met ‘em.” Henry blows a smoke ring.

“Well, Juliet is their oldest daughter; they’ve only got two, though that may change in a few months. She’s a lovely girl, with a good head on her shoulders. But now…” Maddie sighs. “Well, her parents threw her out, and the father won’t help. I’m just glad she ran into Shawn.”

“Mad, do you know anything about her boyfriend? Should I get some of the patrol guys to be on the lookout for an assaulter?”

“No, Henry, I don’t think it’s anything like that.” His wife sounds tired. Still, Henry doesn’t drop the issue.

“You said she’s a smart girl, right? She knew what would probably happen. So why would she--”

“Henry!” Maddie turns to face him, shutting off the sink and slamming down the plate she’s washing. “I don’t know, it’s not my job to know, and _you_ should know that handsome young men always do seem to get what they want. Just because a young woman makes a bad decision once doesn’t mean she deserves to be thrown onto the streets to starve.”

Henry blinks, straightening up and stubbing out his cigarette in an ashtray. “I know, Maddie. I didn’t mean anything like that.”

She sighs, pushing her hair behind her ears. “I know. I’m sorry I snapped at you… I’m just in a bad mood tonight. Nobody should have to go through what Juliet’s going through, the poor thing.”

“Come here, Maddie.” Henry holds his arms out for a hug. She practically melts against his chest.

“Henry?”

“Yeah?”

“Have we just adopted a pregnant teenager?”

Henry nods slowly. “We probably have, Maddie. We probably have.”

\---

Shawn carefully leads Juliet into the parlor after dinner. It’s the only room in the house that has a real view, out over the sandy, gravelly back of their street and to the horizon, where the sky meets a thin strip of ocean meets the dunes. “Here,” he says softly. “You can watch the stars, if you want. Or you can talk, and I’ll just listen… you probably have a lot to get off of your shoulders.”

She gives him a quizzical look, holding his gaze for a long time with a tilt to her head that says she can’t quite figure him out. Finally, she turns back to face the window, drawing her knees up to her chest as she curls up on the couch.

“It’s a pretty view.”

“Yeah… I love the stars.”

They sit silently for ten minutes, then fifteen, then half an hour. Honestly, Shawn would be happy just stargazing with Juliet-- all he wants right now is for her to trust him. But after lots and lots and lots of silence, she speaks.

“I figured out I was pregnant almost two weeks ago,” Juliet says hoarsely. “So early on. But I was expecting it, dreading it, even, and I started to feel so sick… add that to the fact that I’d missed my cycles, and, well…” Shawn doesn’t dare look at her, but he hears a sigh. “I knew me mum wouldn’t take it well. I knew everyone would treat me like some sort o’ leper, once word got out. But…” another deep breath. This one shakes. “Knowing don’t prepare you for your own mother sayin’ that you’re filthy. Knowing don’t prepare you for just how many different ways a man you thought you loved will call you a slut.”

Shawn notes with curiosity that her accent has thickened, though because she’s upset or tired, he doesn’t know. “Did you fall in love with him because he treated you like the best thing in the world, or did you fall in love just to see what it felt like?”

Juliet shrugs. “I dunno,” she whispers. “But it was nice, at first. He was wonderful. He was kind, and handsome, and funny, and I thought he cared about me.” Shawn catches a bit of a choking noise, as if she’s trying not to cry. “I knew what could happen when we, er, did it. I have ten siblings. But he was so, so persuasive… and I wanted to give him everything I could. I didn’t want to let him down.”

“Oh, Juliet,” Shawn whispers, and the sympathy making his heart ache leaks out in his voice. She looks up at him, just the slightest bit, and he sees that her eyes are filled with tears. Just as quickly, she looks back down.

“I didn’t want any of this,” she continues, rubbing a hand over her stomach. “All I wanted was a happy ending.”

Shawn carefully holds out a hand, not quite reaching for her, but not _not_ reaching for her. “You don’t deserve any of this,” he tells her. “It’s no good at all. But don’t worry. We’ll take care of you.”

Juliet rests her hand in his, and looks up fully, meeting his eyes. It’s the first time Shawn sees her smile.

He hopes she knows he means every word he’s just said. Even more than that, he hopes she believes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all is well... for now...


	5. The Cards We're Dealt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet spends a weekend with the Spencers, but shame and misunderstanding drive her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sitting in study hall surrounded by my sister's friends and all of them want to read what I'm writing fmllllllll

Juliet finds two things immensely helpful upon waking up: a metal trash can placed right by her bed, and a dressing gown hanging on the back of the closed bedroom door. The trash can is useful for the ever-present morning sickness, especially since she’s unfamiliar with the layout of this house, and probably wouldn’t have made it to the bathroom. The dressing gown is useful for modesty, because she’s wearing only a borrowed nightdress (Caroline’s; it hangs too large off Juliet’s bony shoulders) and does eventually need to make an appearance downstairs.

“Good morning,” she greets, arriving to find Maddie and Caroline in the kitchen. “Uh, thanks for the bucket. I flushed everything down the toilet and rinsed it all out.”

“I thought you might want that,” Maddie replies. “Are you feeling up to some breakfast?”

Juliet frowns. “I don’t think so… I’m honestly just feeling pretty terrible.”

“Understandable,” Maddie says with a smile. “Would you like a warm bath? Too hot isn’t good for the baby, of course, but just getting cleaned up can help you feel worlds better.”

Juliet hasn’t had a warm bath since Easter Sunday. “Oh, that’s not necessary,” she blusters. “I don’t need to be pampered, I can help out, at least, since you’ve been kind enough to let me stay--”

“Juliet, the best way you can help out is by keeping you and your baby healthy,” Maddie tells her. “At this stage, an expectant mother needs rest, hydration, and food, if she can stomach it. We’ll start with something restful. A bath.”

Juliet can tell she’s not winning this argument. “Alright… thank you,” she whispers. Maddie smiles. 

“Of course, Juliet. Caroline, go to your closet and see if you have anything that would fit Juliet, once we’re done.”

\---

Shawn and Henry help out at the street market until lunchtime, when they get lunch for their trouble. Shawn happily munches a meat pie, wondering if Juliet will stick around long enough for him to bring her here one week. It’s a crowded, bustling place, with something to look at everywhere you turn and a cheery smile at almost every stall.

“C’mon, kid,” Henry calls, pulling him out of his thoughts. “It’s time for us to head home.”

They walk on the beach, despite the chilly wind, until the sand mixes with gravel that leads eventually to the alley behind the Spencer house. They come in the back door, finding Caroline patiently conjugating French verbs and Juliet staring out the window, curled up in the corner of the couch much like she’d been the night before.

“Homework already?” Shawn teases, ruffling his sister’s hair. “It’s only Saturday.”

“It’s not homework. I really like French, but they don’t teach it much during school.” She looks over Shawn’s shoulder, at Henry. “Mom said I could use your old books, Dad.”

“Oh, sure, kid,” Henry agrees. “It’s good to see them going to good use.” 

Henry continues into the house, but Shawn sits down on the couch with Juliet. She turns to look at him for the first time since he’d entered the room. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he replies. “Having a nice morning?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she says with a shrug. “It’s more quiet then I’m used to.”

“Because you have a ton of siblings, right?”

Her eyes narrow. “Well, yes, but how did you--”

“You look like you’re slowly starving to death, but you’re strong at the same time. You’re more comfortable with Caroline than anyone else here, even my mom, but you look at her like you’re going to start crying. And whenever we give you food, your eyes go wide and you start looking for someone to share it with.”

Juliet gapes at him. He feels a wadded-up paper hit him in the back of the head. “Shawn, don’t be weird,” Caroline scolds. “To people who don’t know about your crazy brain, your immediate analysis is creepy.”

Shawn doesn’t talk about it, a lot, the fact that he remembers everything and notices almost as much. But it does seem fair, to share something personal, after everything she’s told him since he’d found her. “Um,” he starts, “uh, I can… I have a really good memory; I get it from my mom. And I’m more observant, too, I don’t know why, it’s just-- it’s how my brain works. My dad had all these ideas about teaching me to focus, to use my ‘gifts’--” he puts air quotes around the word-- “but then… the war…” he shakes his head, dispelling memories of censored letters and his mother’s tears. “Yeah, I mostly taught myself, just the bare minimum. Just enough to control it, to not go insane.”

Juliet is watching him with wide, inquisitive eyes. She doesn’t talk much, at least, not yet, so he’s finding that eye contact is how he gauges her mood, or if she’s uncomfortable with a situation. Right now, she seems more interested than wary, which is the most positive emotion he’s been able to decipher yet. Shawn smiles, just a bit.

“That’s… that’s amazing, Shawn,” she says at last. “So, you figured all that out, just by… watching me?”

“Well, yeah, and talking to you,” he says. “It’s not that I can look at someone and know everything about them, it’s more like I interact with them in all the normal ways and just come out of the interaction knowing more than your average joe.”

Juliet nods. “You know, Shawn… you’re something special.” Shawn grins, surprised at the sudden compliment. Juliet must have surprised herself, too, because she blushes, licks her lips, and looks back out the window. Shawn watches her for a long minute, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“So, uh… have you had lunch?”

\---

That’s Saturday, and Sunday goes much the same. Maddie has to go back to work on Monday, and more often than not, when she and Henry let a stranger in need into their house, it only lasts a weekend. They usually make it clear to their guests that they shouldn’t stay longer than a week. Of course, Juliet’s situation is different, and has Maddie lighting a cigarette after dinner, and staring out the kitchen window as she thinks on what to do.

“What’s the matter, Mad?” Henry leans against the window sill next to her.

“I don’t know what to do about Juliet,” Maddie murmurs. “Emotionally, I want to keep her out of the mother and baby home. I want to keep her safe, keep her here, where we can help her. But I want that with every young mother I see… and I see a lot of them.” She takes a long drag on her cigarette.

“I’ve seen a lot , too, Madeline,” Henry says softly. “For years, I saw girls suffering, their childhood and lives ruined without their consent. And in the POW camps… God, Maddie, if I can help one girl here in the spirit of all of the ones I couldn’t save during the war… it might make it a little easier to sleep at night.”

Maddie shakes her head. “She got herself into this situation, Henry, it’s not like it was over there. And we may be able to help her for the next few months, but what then? She’ll still be a young mother with no ring on her finger. We can’t protect her from that forever.”

He frowns at her. “Maddie, I know you don’t like to get attached, I know you need to keep some difference to stay sane, but… you’re not really going to throw her out, are you? Yeah, she’ll need to face the music eventually, but while she’s still dealing with finding out that she’s pregnant and her family abandoning her and everything at once… she needs gentleness, not tough love.”

“You’re right,” Maddie sighs. “I’m not saying this is the perfect solution, but… she can stay for the rest of the week, at least. We’ll talk to her about if her older brother would be willing to help.”

“That sounds like a plan, Mad,” he murmurs, kissing her cheek. “That sounds like a plan.”

\---

Juliet had only come downstairs in the hope of getting a bit of bread to settle her stomach. Only, what she hears when she pauses outside the kitchen makes her feel even worse.

As she listens, Mr. and Mrs. Spencer discuss whether or not they can give her a place to stay, whether or not it’s worth it to help her. Mrs. Spencer seems pessimistic. Mr. Spencer argues that at least they’ll be doing good. Juliet stops listening, guilt and doubt gnawing at her, eating away at her from the inside.

Suddenly on the verge of tears, she flees the hallway before the end of the conversation. _I should’ve known better than to burden them with my troubles. How could I be this foolish?_

The next morning, she dresses in the dress she’d come in and leaves the borrowed clothing folded neatly on the bed. She braids her hair and keeps her eyes down and her manner demure during breakfast.

“Thank you for letting me stay with you these past few days,” she tells Mr. Spencer. “I’m sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused.”

He blinks, looking a bit bemused. “Don’t apologize, Juliet, we’re happy to help.”

She manages to give him her best smile of gratitude. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’ll, ah, be out of your way today… I’m going to talk to my brother, and I’m sure he’ll be able to use some help, and help me in return.”

“Well, good luck, then,” Mr. Spencer says, shrugging a bit. Juliet smiles and nods.

After breakfast, Juliet politely refuses a jacket, but does take an apple with her. Steeling herself, she heads down the street, toward the docks. In truth, she’s almost certain she’ll be turned away. Still, she can’t bear the thought of disrupting the Spencers even more.

She’ll be fine on her own, she’ll figure it out. She always has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you were thinking of asking, no, I will not give Juliet a break :)


	6. A Noticeable Pattern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet goes to Thomas for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays! This isn't a christmas chapter, unfortunately, but there will be one, I'd expect sometime around chapter ten. enjoy!

Margaret “Maggie” O’Hara, Juliet’s sister-in-law, is a cheerful, kind, logical woman. She’s been married to Thomas, Juliet’s older brother, for six years. They have two kids, a five-year-old boy and a little girl who’s almost four. They aren’t what anyone would call well-off, but they’re comfortable, and in a much better place, financially, that Frank and Maryanne.

Juliet is absolutely certain that she won’t even be let in the door.

When she knocks, it opens, so that’s a start. Maggie answers the door in a neatly pressed dress, a cigarette dangling from her lips. “Oh, hello, Juliet.”

“Good morning,” Juliet greets, smiling hesitantly. “Maggie, I’m really sorry to bother you, but I… I need your help. I’ve gotten myself into a sort of a-- a situation, and I could use a place to stay.” Juliet feels an embarrassed flush rising in her cheeks. “Sorry to show up unannounced.”

“Come on in, then,” Maggie says, beckoning her through the door. Her smile is more polite than anything, but still, a wave of relief washes over Juliet.

“Angie, come say hello,” Maggie calls out, and Juliet’s niece soon appears, running from some distant room, a teddy bear held in her hand. 

“Aunt Julie!” Angie hugs Juliet around the legs, giving her a cherubish smile. 

Juliet runs a hand through her niece’s golden curls. “Hi, Angie.”

“I missed you at church,” Angie says, grabbing at the hem of Juliet’s dress. “We learned ‘bout Moses in Sunday School. I wanted to show you my basket drawing, but Grandma said you weren’t gonna come.”

Juliet swallows. “I’m sure it was a very nice drawing, Angie.”

“Angela, why don’t you go play outside?” Maggie gently leads her daughter away from Juliet. “Aunt Julie and I have to talk about grown-up things.”

“Yes ma’am.” Angie picks up her teddy bear and skips out the door.

“Do you want coffee, Juliet?”

“Yes, please.” She looks around the small kitchen, admiring the clean countertops and unchipped dishes. “Hey, um, where’s Danny?”

“Oh, he started school this year!” Maggie gives her a bright smile. “He’s really having fun, and I feel so much better knowing he’s in school all day, and not running around on the streets.”

Juliet had practically grown up on those streets. Her parents hadn’t been able to afford the school books, and they needed her to help at home, where the counters were stained and the dishes were cracked and instead of stylish curtains they had no curtains at all, and windows that didn’t close all the way.

Of course, she’s happy her brother has improved his quality of life. She’s happy her niece and nephew will never know what it’s like to ignore a bowl of soup despite a growling stomach because your younger siblings haven’t had anything yet. But at the same time… she’s almost jealous.

Every little thing about this house, from the cookies set on the table to Maggie smoking on a day that isn’t a holiday, reminds Juliet that she won’t be able to give her child a life half as good as this.

“I don’t know if we’ll really be able to help you,” Maggie says, giving Juliet a cup of coffee, “but you’re certainly welcome to stay for lunch. We’ll see how Thomas feels when he gets home from work.”

Juliet nods, taking a small sip from the mug. Her stomach flips, though she doesn’t know, at this point, if it’s nerves or morning sickness. “Thank you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Juliet…” Maggie straightens a linen placemat. “What sort of, ah, situation are you in? Your mother wouldn’t really talk about it at church on sunday… why are you here and not with your family? What happened?”

Looking down, Juliet lets go of her coffee and folds her hands in her lap. “I’m pregnant,” she answers quietly. “I know I was foolish to-- to-- well, you have children, you know…” she feels herself blushing even more. “But I didn’t think I would… gosh, you must think me a horrible ditz.”

Maggie shakes her head, and though her face has fallen, her voice is sympathetic. “You’re not the first girl to be lured in by a handsome face, Juliet, and you won’t be the last.”

“I know,” Juliet answers softly. To her horror, she can feel a lump in her throat and tears stinging behind her eyes. “I didn’t expect me mum to kick me out… and, and--” she can’t even say Declan’s name. “I thought he loved me,” she finally whispers. “I was so sure he’d do the right thing.”

Maggie shakes her head, looking almost pitying. “Oh, don’t cry,” she says, offering a handkerchief. “What’s done is done. I… I admit I don’t know how Thomas will feel about this, especially if your mother kicked you out, but you can stay until he gets home.”

Juliet sniffs and wipes her eyes. “Thank you, Maggie. Thank you so much.”

\---

She tries her best to be helpful for the rest of the day. She helps Maggie wash the laundry, and hang it on the line. She walks to the grade school and walks Danny home. By the time the clock strikes five, she and Maggie are preparing dinner.

It’s a quarter past when Thomas gets home. He hugs his children, calling out a happy greeting to his wife. When he gets to the kitchen, however, he stops dead. “Juliet.”

She turns to look at him, nervously tucking curls that had escaped ehr braid behind her ear. “Hello, Thomas.”

Her brother sighs and leans against the door frame. “What are you doin’ here, Juliet?”

“I need a place to stay,” she answers, her voice quiet but steady. “I need your help.”

“Yeah?” One eyebrow goes up. “‘Cause Mum kicked you out?” He paces slowly toward her. Juliet tries not to shrink away from him. “You went and got yourself knocked up, didn’t you?” He sneers. “What, won’t your fancy boyfriend help you out?”

Juliet shakes her head, once again trying not to cry. “No… he-- he said--” she chokes on her shameful explanation, a miserable blush once again heating her face.

Thomas laughs darkly. “A guy like him is probably already gettin’ his jollies with some other slut.”

Maggie looks wary of the whole situation, but at this, she speaks up. “Thomas, the children are here.”

He makes a noise of disgust. “Exactly, Margaret! You want her around our kids for the foreseeable future? What sorta example will she set for Angela?”

She quails, not that Juliet can blame her. “She needs someone’s help, Thomas,” Maggie mumbles.

“Well, she’s not gettin’ ours.” He scowls at Juliet. “I think it’s time you left.”

Juliet stands still for what feels like an eternity, but is probably only a few seconds.

This is Thomas. Her _brother._ And now that he knows what’s happened, what she’s done, he doesn’t care any more than Declan had. Is this what happens when she makes one mistake? What has she done to deserve this?

FInally, Juliet nods and leaves the house. She makes it three steps down the sidewalk before bursting into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what, did you think I was gonna actually let something go well for Jules?


	7. Three Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet spends three nights on the streets, after Thomas turns her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who doesn't have to go to school today!! it hasn't started snowing yet but it should soon :)))

Juliet shivers as a cool breeze blows through the alley. Her dress offers no warmth, threadbare and now wet, too, thanks to the shopkeeper who had shoved her into a gutter. She hadn’t _wanted_ to have to steal, but she hasn’t eaten in almost three days. She’s getting desperate, but even desperation hadn’t made her quick enough to steal the dried meat. It looks like she’s going to bed hungry again.

_’Bed’ might be a stretch,_ she thinks, grimacing at the sight of the wooden pallet she’d dragged from the docks. It keeps her off of the cold ground, and the dusty sack emblazoned with ‘explosive’ offers a little protection, but still, it’s not enough. She’s been cold since the night Thomas had turned her away.

As the sky darkens, so do Juliet’s thoughts. She’s hungry, and though she has access to a spicket from the city pipes, she’s not sure how clean the water is. She’s sleeping with no real shelter, and if she does try to get food by stealing, she faces physical harm as well.

A few more weeks like this, and she’s not going to have to worry about having a baby.

Her shivers grow more violent, both from cold and emotion, as she considers her options. Even knowing she’s just over two months pregnant, Juliet feels a strong attachment to her baby. She knows malnutrition and exposure could cause her to miscarry, and that terrifies her. But the thought of a mother-and-baby home scares her a little bit more, at least right now. She knows girls who had gotten pregnant younger than her, whose families had sent them away. When they returned, they had been broken, always looking ashamed and never looking anyone in the eye. Not to mention, they’d returned without babies.

She wants to keep her baby. But from here, she can’t see a future where that’s possible.

Juliet cries bitterly until she finally drifts off to sleep.

\---

The Thursday after Juliet leaves, Shawn is helping out in the local market, which pays mostly in free food and goods. Mrs. Gonzalez, who makes delicious quesadillas, needs her stand leveled. Shawn crouches down, tugging up the faded tablecloth to look at the wooden legs. To his surprise, there’s already someone under there.

He and Juliet stare at each other for a solid ten seconds before she scrambles away. Acting on impulse, Shawn grabs her by the wrist, and she startles violently.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes, his voice a hushed whisper. “Hey, don’t run, okay? Lemme fix this post, and then I’ll have half a dozen free quesadillas. That’s the issue here, right? You’re hungry?”

Juliet stares at him with wide, captivating blue eyes. Shawn can see her shivering, and her pulse feels fluttery under his fingers. Finally, she nods. He lets go of her and turns his attention to the table.

Ten minutes later, Shawn walks with Juliet down to the bridge just past the market, quesadillas in hand. He hops up onto the wall overlooking the water and holds out three of the quesadillas, inviting Juliet to join him.

“So,” he says, after a minute or so of quietly eating, “why are you stealing from the market and not safe with your older brother?”

“I-- I--” Juliet won’t look him in the eye. “He turned me away. Said I’d brought this all on myself, and I should have known better.”

Shawn takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching as he tries to rein in his anger. “I’d damn well like to give him a knuckle sandwich.”

“Don’t,” Juliet protests softly. “It’s not… it’s not important. Besides, he’s right, ain’t he?” To Shawn’s dismay, she wipes tears from her eyes.

“No,” Shawn says, matching her quiet tone. He dares to cover her hand with his, the bold act making Juliet look him in the eye. “Don’t say that. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you should be forced out onto the streets.”

She nods, looking away. “Thank you for the food, Shawn.”

“Hey, no problem. I wouldn’t have been able to eat it all, anyway.”

She tucks her hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to keep you from your work.”

Shawn chuckles, though it’s not exactly funny. Does she really expect him to abandon her to the streets? “Juliet, forgive me if this is inappropriate, but I’d like you to come back home with me,” he says, looking her in the eye. “I don’t know what made you stay on the streets after your brother turned you away, but our doors are still open. You’re welcome to stay with us, if you need a safe place, which it looks like you do.”

Juliet shakes her head and looks down, only furthering Shawn’s confusion. “Thank you, but I wouldn’t want to inconvenience your family any further,” she tells him. “I know I’m an added burden, and that’s not fair to any of you. I can take care of myself.”

“Juliet…” Shawn thinks carefully, trying to decide how to convince her to stay. “We told you you could stay for as long as you needed, what made you change your mind?” He worries as he watches her, wondering if he had somehow scared her off.

“I don’t…” she takes a deep breath. “I don’t deserve your help. I mean, there are so many other girls in the same situation as me, or worse. Why should I be the one who gets to be safe, to live comfortably?”

Shawn squints at Juliet. “Very selfless of you… but there’s something else keeping you away.” His gaze flits over her, seeing how she’s chewing her lip and twirling her hair and looking everywhere but his eyes. “What happened? Was it something I said? If you’re uncomfortable around guys, that’s my fault, I totally understand…”

Shaking her head, Juliet sighs, seeming to deflate. “I… I accidentally overheard your parents talking… I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I swear, but they were debating if it would really work to let me stay at your place and if it was fair, and I didn’t hear everything but I didn’t want to cause any trouble, and I-- I thought…” she swallows. “I thought it would be best if I left, to avoid anyone else kicking me out.”

_What the hell?_ Shawn is confused and stunned. _Why-- why would they-- surely they wouldn’t really have turned her away?_ Making a decision, he squares his shoulders and his jaw. “That doesn’t matter,” he says firmly. “They won’t actually make you leave, and if they do, they’ll have me to get through.”

Juliet looks taken aback. “Shawn, that’s very, ah, nice, but I swear I’m fine, really, I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

“No trouble,” he insists, shaking his head. “Hell, you’d be helping-- if you’re around all day, I can work past two and not worry about Caroline being home by herself. I’m sure my mom will let you help around the house, once you’re feeling up to it. You’re welcome, Juliet, and you won’t be a burden to anyone.”

She still looks doubtful, even scared. But when Shawn meets her eyes, he sees trust. She trusts him. _Thank god._

“Okay,” Juliet says finally. “If… if you’re sure.”

For the second time in a week, Shawn brings Juliet up the road to his house. Only, this time, she’s walking beside him instead of trailing behind.

It’s enough to make him grin in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still love this fic sm it has so many sequels already and we're not even a third of the way through this fic bvfdjkdfm'fdbgnbfv


	8. Jules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shawn takes Juliet home once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually caught my posting schedule up to what I've written... but dw, I'll keep writing so y'all can rely on biweekly chapters!

Juliet is in a state of disbelief as she follows Shawn home. Surely he’s misunderstood. Surely he doesn’t _want_ her in his home, in his life. Or at the very least, his family doesn’t. Juliet frowns, trying to think of any circumstances under which her brothers would defy her father.

“We’re here,” Shawn says softly, like she’s a stray cat that might spook and run away. She nods and follows him inside, just as nervous as the first time. Yes, she knows now he’s not going to hurt her, but she can’t shake the feeling that this is too good to last.

“Do you want some more food?” Shawn asks, walking into the kitchen. He opens the small pantry and rifles through it.

“No, no, the quesadillas were enough,” Juliet assures him. “I’ll probably just make myself sick, anyway.”

Shawn frowns, looking her over. Somehow, his gaze sweeping over her doesn’t make her skin feel prickly like when the boys on her street look a little too long. “Well, I’ll make some coffee, at least. You could do with a warm drink… and, um, if you want, you could go borrow another one of Caroline’s dresses… pardon me for saying this, but yours looks like it’s past its prime.”

Juliet examines the dress. Her family wears things long past when they outgrow them or tear them or wear them out, but this is probably the limit for this one. She’s had it since she was ten, after all, and the last few days have been especially hard on it.

“Caroline won’t mind?”

“Juliet, Caroline loves you. She’s probably hoping we’ll get married or something.” Shawn laughs, but Juliet feels a blush heating her cheeks. A moment later, Shawn looks over at her and winces. “I’m sorry, that was overstepping, wasn’t it? My sense of humor tends to get away from me.”

“It’s alright,” Juliet manages, barely meeting his eyes. “Ah, coffee would be nice, thank you. I’m going to go change.”

\---

Shawn scowls at the coffee pot, tapping his hand against his arm as he stands there. _What were you thinking, teasing Juliet like you’ve known her for years? She’s going through hell right now, she doesn’t need you flirting with her._ He can’t believe he’d been dumb enough to joke about getting married, of all things. This is probably why his mom tells him to think before he speaks.

The water boils, and he pours it into the coffee pot, over the grounds and the filter. Once the pot is full, he retrieves two mugs from the cabinets, and pours the steaming coffee into them.

The sound of soft footsteps coming down the old wooden stairs alerts him to Juliet’s arrival. “Just in time,” he says, smiling with a bit of embarrassment. He hands her a mug, and though she wraps both hands around it, she doesn’t drink. “It’s not that hot,” he encourages her. “I can add milk, to cool it down.”

“Yes, please,” she says. “I just… it smells rich. I’m afraid it’ll upset my stomach.”

“I didn’t even think of that, sorry,” Shawn says with a wince. “You don’t have to drink it. I don’t want you to be cold, though… hey, the sunroom is probably nice and warm this time of day. Do you want to curl up in there under some blankets?”

Her face lights up, even though her smile is small. “Oh, that _would_ be nice.”

Grinning with success, Shawn takes both mugs of coffee, adds milk, and starts down the hall.

\---

Juliet runs her fingers over the soft knitted blanket she’s pulled over her lap. “This is very well made,” she says. “I like the colors.” It’s mostly pink, with gray and white patterning. She can tell it took somebody a very long time.

“My aunt made that,” Shawn says. “She knits a lot. We get sweaters and blankets and all sorts of things for Christmas. That was originally given to Caroline, I think.”

Juliet thinks about the knit blankets her family has, all much older and more tattered than this. Then, she sits up straight, squaring her shoulders. She needs to stop thinking so much about home… it’s not her home anymore.

“So… what do you like to do?” Shawn asks, watching her curiously.

Juliet thinks on the question. “Well, I’ve been so busy for so long… I can’t say I’ve had much time to myself in a while.” Her cheeks flame as she remembers her source of entertainment away from family. “The last time I had fun was with Declan… and we both know how that turned out.”

Shawn sits up and leans forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “You’re telling me you don’t know how to have fun? Come on, there must be something. Any weird games you and your siblings made up? What kind of books do you like?”

Juliet has never been to school, her family doesn’t own books, and aside from a few times when she was very young and her mother cleaned the library, she’s never even seen a book. Needless to say, she can’t read.

“I do play with my brothers and sister a lot,” she answers, ignoring the last part of his question. “Really, I just help Mum however she needs it. More often than not, that means keeping an eye on the littler ones.”

Shawn tilts his head, looking at her so closely, so carefully. She remembers his explanation of his observational abilities, and wonders what he’s learning about her right now.

“Did you go to school?” he asks, after a moment. “Did any of your siblings?”

Juliet looks down. “No… none of us have. Mum and Dad could never afford the books, and even if they could, they need us home, or working. They need the help.”

Shawn is still regarding her with sharp, piercing eyes. “Do you want to learn to read?”

He’s not laughing, or teasing, though she’s seen him do so often, in the few days she’s known him. He’s simply offering, without judgement or expectation. Juliet finds herself smiling in relief. “Actually… I’d love to.”

\---

Shawn starts Juliet off by teaching her the alphabet, nice and simple. “Your name is really phonetic,” he tells her, after they’ve gone over the sounds. “It sounds like it’s spelled. Do you want to try spelling it?”

Juliet nods and takes the pencil from him, squinting at the alphabet at the top of the page. She confidently copies a J, and than a U. The L comes easily as well, but then she hesitates. “Juliet,” she says aloud. “What makes the last sound? Is it an E or an I?”

“Both,” Shawn tells her. “I first. It makes the ‘e’ sound, and then the hard E finishes.”

She nods and manages to finish the name from there. “Juliet,” she says again. She smiles brightly, glowing with success. 

Shawn thinks this is the most cheerful he’s ever seen her. “Really good,” he tells her softly. “Do you want to practice writing more, or do you want me to find some of my old children’s books?”

“I think if I write some more, I’ll understand the words better,” she says.

“That works for me,” Shawn agrees. “Do you want to try your full name? Your last name has a lot of repeated letters.”

Juliet stiffens a bit, enough for him to wonder what he’s said wrong. “I… no. Let’s just move on.”

_Her family,_ he thinks. _The ones who kicked her out, left her on the streets. Wow, I’m an idiot._

Shawn shoves his irritation with himself out of his mind, lest it leak out in his conversation with Juliet. He gives her simple words first, and then she strings them into sentences. After maybe a quarter of an hour, he stops suggesting, and she keeps scribbling whatever she can think of. Then, she grins at him, and writes something else.

S. H. He’s impressed-- he’d only explained the sound that combination made ten minutes ago. She squints at him, then writes an O. She ends it with an N, and he realizes what she’s trying to spell when she grins up at him.

“That’s really close,” he says. “I can tell you’re sounding it out in your head… but my name is weird. It’s actually and A and a W that make the ‘ah’ sound.”

Juliet’s nose crinkles as she looks at the page. “Oh, okay. That doesn’t make much sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Shawn agrees as she fixes her mistake. “But you’re doing great. You’re a fast learner, Jules.”

She looks up at him, her blonde curls shaking with the quick movement of her head. “‘Jules’?”

This time, Shawn is the one to turn red. “Uh, I have a habit of calling people by nicknames,” he mutters. “It just slipped out, sorry. I won’t use it again if you don’t like it.”

The silence between them stretches on, Shawn growing more and more uncomfortable. Then, Juliet speaks, with another little shake of her head. “No, I like it,” she says. “I guess the only other nickname I’ve had is ‘Julie’. But Jules is nice. It’s different. I think I need different.”

“Good news, then,” Shawn says, grinning cheerfully. “My entire family is very, very different.”

Juliet is still shy that afternoon, and very prone to blushing. But even as her words stay quiet, her laughs get louder. Her eyes brighten and her posture straightens. Shawn thinks that maybe, just maybe, she’s starting to come out of her shell.

He is so, so curious about what she’ll be like once she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, I have a question for anyone who feels comfortable commenting... am I doing a good job with Shawn and Juliet's dynamic? Obv I have to tone down the blatant flirting and innuendo bc it's 1958, but I hope this fresh take is still showing bits of their original dynamic. What do y'all think of how they're connecting here?


	9. Decisions to be Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the Spencers welcome Juliet into their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this is late bc I forgot yesterday 😬 I've had A Lot lately...

Henry has been helping with a soup kitchen all morning, handing out the approved amounts of food to people and families who need a little extra help. Because he stays late to clean up, he has time for a late lunch before it’s time to pick up Caroline from school. Technically she’s more than capable of walking home by herself, but he sees no reason not to greet her at the gate with a cookie from the bakery.

“Hi Dad!” Caroline runs up to him, leaping over the fence despite being less than a foot from the gate. “How was your morning? Did you work in the kitchen? Is Mom still at work?”

“Yes to both,” he answers. “It went well. And you don’t need to hop the fence, sweetheart. You’ll ruin your dress.”

Caroline shrugs. “I can sew it.”

“Not the point,” Henry sighs, but he lets the topic drop. “How was school?”

“Good.” She takes a bite out of her cookie, and he briefly thinks that’s all she’s going to say. “We’re learning about triangles in math. Triangles are apparently really important.”

Henry nods, trying to remember his own high school years. “What’s that formula? A squared and B squared equals C squared?”

“The Pythagorean theorem,” Caroline says with a nod. “I’m not sure I get it, but I’m good with the diagrams.”

“Well,” Henry says with a grin, “you know, if you want to be a nurse… there’s lots of diagrams.”

Caroline laughs. “And a lot of math.”

Together, they make their way down their own narrow street. Caroline says hi to a few kids playing by the side of the road, but follows Henry inside the house. “Do you think Shawn is home yet?”

“Probably not,” Henry says. His son likes to make the most of his days, and even if he doesn’t have back-to-back jobs, he enjoys hanging around the people of the city.

“Surprise,” Shawn says quietly, coming up behind Caroline and grabbing her shoulders. Caroline shrieks and drops her books. “Hey, be quiet,” Shawn adds hastily. “Jules is asleep.”

Henry squints in confusion, but Caroline soon comes to a conclusion. “Wait, Juliet’s here? I thought she was staying with her brother after she split.”

“Nah,” Shawn murmurs, “he wouldn’t let her. She’s been out on the street for the past few days.” He looks up at Henry. “Didn’t wanna bother us by coming back here.”

Henry can tell from the look in his son’s eyes that there’s more behind his words. “Caroline, it’s a beautiful day. You should go get some fresh air.”

“Well, that’s what I was planning on,” she snarks, “but now that you so clearly want me to leave, I think I should stay here.”

Shawn flicks her ear. “Yeah? Smart-ass.”

“Watch your mouth,” Henry warns. “Caroline, take five.”

“Fine,” she whines, then disappears out the door.

Shawn beckons Henry down the hall. They slip into the study, which is really only used when someone wants a quiet place to read or think away from the rest of the family. It also has a view into the sunroom if the door is left open, and Henry suspects that’s why Shawn has chosen it now.

“Dad,” Shawn sighs, “why did Juliet leave?”

Henry frowns. “As far as I know, she went to stay with her brother because she felt she would have a place there. Makes sense to me that she’d want to be with her family.”

“Then why did she not come back here when she was turned away?”

“I don’t know,” Henry sighs. “Shawn, I didn’t even know she _had_ been turned away until five minutes ago. “What’s this about?”

Shawn runs a hand through his hair, which is already mussed. “Dad, I don’t know if this was a misunderstanding on Jules’ part or what, but… when I talked to her, she seemed to think you and mom didn’t want her here.”

“What?” Henry blinks. “Of course not.”

“She says she accidentally overheard a conversation between the two of you the night before she left.”

_Oh._ Henry groans. “Shawn, that’s just a misunderstanding.”

“What conversation, Dad?”

Outwardly, it sometimes seems like Shawn is apathetic and flippant, too lighthearted to care much about anything. Henry knows differently. Shawn has a big heart, and he cares strongly. He’s an empathetic man, and Henry would like to think he’s partially responsible for Shawn’s eagerness to help where it’s needed. He’s known since Juliet had first shown up that Shawn cared for her, and now he can see it burning in his eyes.

“Shawn…” Henry takes a deep breath, shaking his head. _God, kid, please don’t fall in love._ “Shawn, your mother and I were discussing logistics. We were trying to figure out how it would work to have Juliet around, if it was really feasible. “Of _course_ we want her to stay.”

Shawn only nods, though the fire in his gaze cools. “Alright.” He Looks Henry in the eye. “Tell her that.”

\---

Juliet doesn’t quite know what to do with herself, in the absence of chores to be done and siblings to be taken care of. She ends up following Shawn outside, but he is quickly drawn away to assist with a neighbor’s leaking sink. In his place, Caroline bounds up to her, brown curls flying loose from her braid and cheeks flushed with exertion. “Juliet! Shawn said you were here!”

“I am,” Juliet confirms with a smile. “For the foreseeable future, I suppose.”

“Oh, good.” Caroline grins at her. “I was hoping you’d stay. Come meet my friends!”

Juliet glances toward the group of young girls, but before she can decline, another familiar form calls out. “Oh, Juliet, what a nice surprise!”

“Nurse Spencer!” Juliet isn’t quite sure what color her face turns as she whirls around, but she’s fairly certain it doesn’t look normal. “Um, hello. How was your day?”

“Pleasant enough,” Maddie says with a shrug. “A few visits to some new babies. How are you doing? Is your brother treating you well?”

She gulps, trying and failing to make eye contact. “Well… um, I-- I haven’t been staying with my brother.”

Mrs. Spencer pauses by the curb, her brow wrinkling. “Why not?”

“He turned me away. News travels, I suppose.”

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry to hear that,” Maddie responds, pursing her lips. “You’re certainly welcome to stay with us.”

Just that small reassurance makes Juliet feel much better. “I… Shawn said as much. Thank you.”

Maddie smiles at her, but her attention is quickly drawn away. “Caroline! You’ve got half an hour before you need to come inside and wash up!”

“Yes ma’am!” Caroline waves at her mother, then goes back to her soccer game. Madeleine waves Juliet inside.

“You still look like skin and bone, dear. Come on, I could use some help with dinner. We’ll make sure you get plenty to eat tonight.”

Juliet follows her silently inside, now back in her comfort zone. But no sooner have she and Maddie washed their hands to begin preparations when Mr. Spencer enters the kitchen. He leans against the wall, sighing heavily. “Hey, Juliet. Uh, I should apologize.”

She looks up, wondering what he’s got to apologize for. “Sorry?”

“I… Shawn mentioned that you’ve spent the last few nights on the street.”

“Oh.” Juliet tries and fails not to blush. “Well, yes.”

“Why?” Maddie turns to look at her, concern clear in her blue eyes. “You could have come back here.”

“I--” Juliet shakes her head. “I didn’t want to be a burden.”

Henry nods. “And that’s why I’m apologizing, Juliet. If we’ve said or done anything to make you feel like you shouldn’t stay, I’m very sorry. We’re here to help you; you should stay, and get your strength back.”

Juliet nods, suddenly overcome with emotion. The Spencers are practically strangers, they have no reason to let her into their home, and yet… and yet…

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Maddie wraps her in a hug. “You’re alright. I know, a lot is going on right now. You’re alright.”

Something about the compassion in the hug, the warmth that speaks of a mother’s love, makes Juliet break. She hasn’t been hugged with this much care in weeks. She can’t help but sob into Maddie’s shoulder as the older woman rubs her back.

“You’re alright, Juliet,” Maddie soothes. Her voice is the calm to Juliet’s emotional storm. “You’re alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update on the 18th!

**Author's Note:**

> **Important information on future updates!**
> 
> Chapter 1 is up today, 10/22/19, because I promised it to a few people. But I want to update biweekly, and I have another biweekly fic that updates this week, so I don't want to have two biweekly fics updating the same week, if that makes any sense. So chapter 2 will be up one week from today, 10/29/19/ After that, it will be biweekly, every other Tuesday!


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